So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
