Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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