I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
