why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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