i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
