Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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