i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
