You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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