My pussy is not your playground.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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