He is such a slut. More and more my type.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
