I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
