We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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