She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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