no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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