just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
