For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
