we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
