The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
