i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
