Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
