marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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