here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
