i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
