Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
