I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
