Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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