Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
