Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize