Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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