I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
