got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
