Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
FUCK WHALES
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