good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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