apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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