We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
