saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
