So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
