I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
