Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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