Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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