i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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