whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Drunk is a universal language darling
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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