RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
