I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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