He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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