I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize