i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
