Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize