She said her name was "party"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
