Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
