Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
