I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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