Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
