the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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