I must be too annoying 4 u.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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