Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
