Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize