Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
