Small penises have feelings too.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
