i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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