Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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