Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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