Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize