As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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