So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
