Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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