bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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